So sinfully retrospective, the recollection of lost thoughts.
The misplacement of memories, left in the shadows.
A sudden nostalgia of course, fading out your existence
in order to be appreciated solely. Myself.
So sinfully jealous, the past memories can be.
They always linger, even when seemingly invisible.
Wanting to move on, though we’re held by strong forces,
waiting to be acknowledged before they can let go.
We stopped living to start things; we’re in love with the past.
Old trends become new; new trends don’t last.
New ways to make art are canvases already painted upon,
We innovate, no, we re-create. Mending already-broken hearts.
Living for the moment goes against the grain, doesn’t it?
We’re too shy, too afraid, too badly focused on wanting to be “normal”.
Though, normality in itself is crazy,
because why would you want to be like them?
Unique: just like everybody else.
We spend so much time worrying about everything else. So much time depending on whether it’s going to rain today. Most of the time, we know the answers before we ask the questions. But we ask anyway to keep that slight glimmer of change.
Changing scenery can sometimes have that escapism. But if you’re worrying about the past - it will catch up to you - wherever you are. Temporary bliss: to cover yourself from over-caste [dreams] that’ll never gain potential because we’re too afraid.
Afraid to dream (free) because we live in a world where reality sets up as soon as your phone rings; as soon as your alarm rings; as soon as the light flickers through your window to reveal a day as gloomy as ever. We never reach, because we’re too cautious. The drop to the depth looks steep: and if you end up there you’ll be in a worse position than when you started off, right? In essence, we’re happy to be reserved.
Reservations between friends and times are the socialites woes; and the make-or-break meetings between companies and other companies; the first date of wondering if she’s late or if I’m early, if he’ll turn up.. or if she SHOULD turn up? How long do I wait if no one comes? We’re constantly insecure.
Insecurities show depth beyond understanding, compassion beyond comprehension. Even the darkest of figures started off in this life as innocent. Insecurities bring you down but if you weren’t down.. you wouldn’t be able to go up. Self-doubt, self-hate or anything that makes you feel like you’re anything but what you want to be, are pivotal.
Pivotal. They’re not necessarily negative; because without them you wouldn’t know what GOOD is. Without that we don’t see a goal to reach, a focus to focus upon, and a dream that we break down reservations for. Your own insecurity is your security. Be secure with that, and move onward.
I’m actually in Edinburgh this weekend for T in the Park! BBC Introducing stage at 12pm, Sunday during Swami Baracus’ set! I’d love to come back for a solo show soon, Scotland have always shown crazy love!
by Graham Dudley, for CALM
Your best friend, your son, your daughter, maybe your uncle or your aunty or a work colleague has just told you they are gay. So what? What should you do next? If you’re a man and another man has told you his most intimate secret, your first instinct may be to call him a poofter (or something similar). Once you’ve realised he wasn’t joking, you can then tell him it’s fine with you so long as he doesn’t “try it on”, because if he does, you’ll “land him one”. Get over yourself and don’t be so vain! He’s gay, but it doesn’t mean he fancies every man on the planet – and certainly not you! Just because a person tells you they are attracted to members of the same gender, it doesn’t instantly mean they are a) a paedophile b) a sexual deviant, or c) interested in you. Where did you get those antiquated, moronic and totally inaccurate ideas?
Read the full article here..